This type of forgiveness doesn’t honor your needs and may not resolve your frustration and pain. You aren’t truly forgiving when you do so grudgingly or because others say you should. Ultimately, you’re the one who needs to make that decision. Other people involved in the situation, even loved ones who know the circumstances, might encourage you to forgive. “Forgiveness is an inside job,” Egel says. “Forcing yourself to do anything inauthentic can create a misalignment with your inner truth,” Egel says.Īsking yourself these questions can help you determine if you’re ready to forgive. Forced forgiveness doesn’t really benefit anyone since you’re still holding on to pain and anger. When it comes to forgiveness, authenticity is essential. It can take some time to reach that place. If you don’t feel like you can extend forgiveness immediately, that’s OK. This provides an opportunity for learning and growth.įorgiveness may not mend your relationship immediately, but it’s a good start. In many cases, the act of forgiveness can help someone who inadvertently caused pain to realize how they hurt you. When a loved one hurts you, forgiving them can open the door to relationship repair. You can forgive someone even if you know you can never have the same relationship.ĭepending on the circumstances, you may even need to avoid contact. Forgiveness can help you reconcileįirst, it’s important to understand that you can forgive someone without resuming contact or picking a relationship back up. It can also lead to more fulfilling relationships - including the one you have with yourself. In general, forgiveness has an overall positive impact on emotional health, well-being, and empathy for others. Less stress can have positive health outcomes, including:įorgiveness may also allow you to let go of unhealthy anger, which can contribute to: Forgiveness has health benefitsīy practicing forgiveness, you may be doing your health a favor.įorgiveness helps reduce stress, according to research from 2016. Offering compassion instead of anger can help increase kindness and feelings of connection to all people, not just the person you forgive. have difficulty building new relationships.Grudges and angry feelings can eventually overflow into your other relationships. Harboring anger toward someone who hurt you doesn’t just affect your relationship with that person. Forgiveness can improve other relationships “Forgiveness allows you to let go of pain and continue with a lighter heart.”įorgiveness, in other words, enables you to begin moving away from anger and resentment before they seep into all areas of your life. You’re deciding to let go of the burden of stuck and unresolved emotions,” explains Kim Egel, a therapist in San Diego, California. “When you forgive, you’re not saying what someone did was OK. When you can’t forgive, your emotional wounds can’t close and heal. Holding onto resentment can sour you and keep you from finding peace. It certainly can make them feel better, but forgiveness benefits you most of all. Many people view forgiveness as something that helps the person being forgiven.
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